Attractions at a Parish Fair?

I spent a few years chairing a parish’s annual fair and had to make determinations about what booths would work and what would not. One evening, being rather tired from working on a current one, my husband and I came up with a (totally fictional) list of prospective booths.

1. The Body Piercing Booth. Someone offered to donate an old hole punch which would have made this booth a real money maker – very low overhead. When we inquired whether they planned to use alcohol for disinfection purposes, they exclaimed, “Of course! 150-proof!”

2. The Tattoo Booth. The person interested in sponsoring this booth was very sincere but, sadly, untalented. We didn’t feel there would be much call for stick figure tattoos. He assured us that they were of the saints but his samples all looked alike to us.

3. The Healing Booth. This booth became obsolete as soon as we turned down the body piercing and tattoo booth.

4. Foods from the Earth Booth. We understand some people feel earthworms are edible but we decided to go with beef hamburgers this time around.

5. Madam Zablonghini’s Booth. Madame offered us a discount on her crystal ball service. Unfortunately, the huge radio tower on the church premises interfered with her reception.

6. Mud Wrestling Booth. This booth was canceled due to lack of interest. Go figure.

7. Tofu on a Stick Booth. The sponsors for this booth canceled out when we suggested for sales appeal they either dip them in chocolate or deep fry them.

8. Martin Luther Discount Indulgence Booth. The booth was banned in this diocese. The sponsors were a bit dismayed as they planned to give a free 60-day indulgence with every purchase.

9. Health Update Booth. This would have been the place to catch up on your children’s vaccines while they enjoyed the Fair. Seems a large group of children have threatened to block the entrance when the Shots on Wheels tried to get in the parking lot.

10. Night Cap Booth. This booth planned to serve free servings of Surge Soda, the pop with twice the sugar and 90 percent caffeine with all the refills you want for children ten and under. Seems parental disapproval was one hundred percent.

Church and Children

Church and Children
By Barbara Barthelette

I am of the opinion that, if at all possible, families should be together at Mass, even with toddlers! This is not without some pitfalls so parents should be forewarned of the possibility of storms they may have to weather in the pursuit of a shared family Faith.

Remember, the longer you can keep your toddler from realizing that his legs can work on church property, the more attention you can pay to Mass. A sore back is little enough to bear in comparison to the exercise you may get chasing down an inquisitive child. At two and a half, my son discovered his church legs. His first escape took place in the Children’s Chapel a.k.a. the cry room at church. Initially unnoticed by the occupants, he dived under a row of folding chairs. We watched in anguish as each person popped up in surprise as he crawled under them.

Nursing mothers should start moving gradually back in the church as the baby grows older. I was sitting in the front row one Sunday when my hungry one year old obviously wanted to hear the sermon better. He threw back our privacy blanket much to my embarrassment and the priest’s surprise.

If all efforts at calming a child fails, do stand to the side of the church or in the back. I learned from experience, however, that you should take heed of your surroundings. Always make sure there is not a Holy Water font in the vicinity. They hold a lot of water in spite of their small appearance and they are easy to dump. You may know your skirt is soaked with blessed water. Other people may not be as charitable.

Four and five year olds should be prepared for Mass. Sometimes though it is better not to tell them too much in special circumstances. Julianna knew we were going to a funeral and her sole interest throughout the Mass was the ‘box’ up front. She was audibly verbal about, “I want to see inside now! Maybe he’s not inside! Let’s open it up now!

Sitting in the front row of the Children’s Chapel isn’t always a good idea. In some churches you will find that the congregation in the main body has a fish bowl view. . . and you are the fish! One Sunday I reached down to pick up one child who inadvertently pulled opened the front of my blouse as he climbed up. I immediately turned around only to have the second child flip up the back of my skirt.

You have to learn to ignore small disturbances. A crying baby is often helpful in covering up the name your child is calling the other one. You can be hopeful that the people in your immediate area are staring at you because they are in total awe of your parental management capabilities.

The discovery of manual dexterity almost always occurs during Mass when your two year old wears sneakers with velcro fastenings. The bells at Mass never quite cover this sound as your toddler gleefully opens and closes his shoes.
Always frisk your children before Mass. In the event a contraband fistful of marbles hit the floor during a particularly quiet moment during Mass, just keep staring prayerfully ahead and pretend you didn’t hear it.

The most import fact of life is this. . . There are only two parents to a family. When you exceed the one-to-one ratio with the arrival of your third child, you are on your own. Figure out your own rules!

Playing the Memories . . .

The priest stopped Mass when the cell phone went off, waiting for the person to turn it off. It kept beeping, buzzing, and ringing. The priest asked again. The noise continued. Finally, the priest narrowed it down to one woman in the congregation and said, “Would you please turn off your cell phone now?”! The woman calmly said, “My cell phone isn’t ringing . . . It’s my son’s Nintendo game.”!
We had a rat in our garage. We named him Willard and then went shopping for whatever it would take to close down Willard. A few days later, I was coming in the garage and there was Willard, passed on to his final reward. I called the children to view the body. My older daughter wanted to know why I wanted them to see a dead rat. Before I could say anything, she answered herself and said, “I guess it was to give us closure.”!
My  ten-year old daughter was working on a novel for English class. I asked if she would be done by the deadline I had set. She said, “Don’t worry. Tell me the day before and I will just kill all the characters off and end the story.”
Morning Mass must be a bit early for many. At the end of one Mass, the priest said, “Our Lady, Queen of Vocations . . .” and the congregation replied, “Pray for us.” Father then said, “Immaculate Mary, page 109.” And the obviously sleepy congregation replied, “Pray for us.”!
And once when attending Mass, the celebrant looked at the congregation across and said, “The Lord be with you.” One dear old lady looked at the other and explained helpfully, “That means ‘Dominus vobiscum’.”

Man’s Disregard for Life Over the Decades

When man feels an entitlement of power over another’s life, whether by race, creed, or color, history shows that they often find a way to act upon their power and destroy what is not their’s . . .stealing the lives of other people to further whatever agenda they want to inflict upon a certain group of people. The list above is only a short one given the many other events in not so long ago history not mentioned here because they didn’t murder enough to be quite as memorable.

I’m thinking the list is even less complete as it doesn’t really cover more recent history. Interesting that it wasn’t noted as it was at the top of the charts for cold-blooded murder.

The attack began in 1973 and continues to this day. So far over 60,000 million have died most without a second thought. The current rate of deaths is over 900,000 a year which is about 2500 a day, and over 100 each hour.

We should pray for all the poor souls that have been brutally murdered over the years by dictator monsters . . . and for the reprieve from the death sentences imposed on so many babies even as I type this paragraph.

The only countries in the world that allow third trimester abortions currently are

China

North Korea

Canada

United States of America

Shouldn’t these countries take their place on the infamous roll call of murderers in history?

Prophesies of Cardinal Pacelli

Pope Pius XII was born Eugenio Maria Giuseppe Giovanni Pacelli. His birth was March 2, 1876 and he died October 9, 1958. He was Pope from March 2, 1939 until he died in 1958. As Cardinal Pacelli, he warned the Church of several aspects of decline in the church. Reading the following, shows he was enlightened by God as so much is coming true today.

http://www.tldm.org/news34/pius-xiis-prophetic-warnings-about-fatima-and-the-suicide-of-altering-the-faith-in-its-liturgy.htm

Cardinal Pacelli’s Prophesies Coming True Today:

Cardinal Pacelli’s remarks are stunning prophesies of the current state of affairs in the Church, 84 years later. We are witnessing today that:

Russia spreads her errors of communism and secularization throughout the world as Our Lady of Fatima warned. This happens even in the Church through doctrinal, moral, and liturgical relativism and secularization. The smoke of Satan has entered the sanctuary.

The imposition of Paul VI’s “New Mass” after Vatican II has brought about widespread destruction of the Church’s sacred liturgy and beauty in church architecture. There is widespread grave liturgical irreverence, sometimes even causing the sacraments, including the Eucharist, to be invalid from certain priests using the new rites.

There is mass apostasy in the Church and her bishops – “She will doubt as Peter doubted.”
She doubts exclusivity of salvation through the Catholic Church and the social kingship of Christ. This is evidenced by harmful ambiguities, compromise formulas, and omissions in the very texts of Vatican II (ex. Nostra Aetate, Lumen Gentium, and Dignitatis Humanae).

She doubts that all peoples and nations must become subject to Christ’s rule or ought to convert to the Catholic faith, and favors secular governments and practices. Scandalous practices of ecumenism have led to a virtual abandonment of the Divine Commission in favor of a vacuous, open-ended “dialogue”.

She doubts even the universal validity of the Divine Law as seen in the double synod on the family and Pope Francis’ justifications for adultery and of a false notion of conscience in Amoris Laetitia. Numerous bishops conferences are openly violating the Divine law by allowing the divorced and civilly remarried persons living more uxorio to receive Holy Communion.

She doubts the eternity and reality of Hell, by devoting her energies to progressive terrestrial utopias under the guise of environmentalism, one-world-government, mass immigration, and wealth redistribution, rather than to the salvation of souls.

The Church in Africa flourishes and holds fast to the Catholic Faith, especially on sexual ethics, while the Western Catholic Church is losing the faith and dying out.

Faithful Catholics suffer at the hands of fellow Catholics (white martyrdom) and non-Catholics (sometimes red martyrdom) because they refuse to give in to the prevailing moral relativism and religious syncretism.