Potential Reprisals at the Dinner Table

Since they could first express themselves, my children seem to think that I am trying to poison them! Lest you think the worst of my motives, my children equate excess servings of vegetables and salads with child abuse.

Like most children, mine consider the basic food groups to be fat, sugar, salt, candy, fried, caramelized and fast food. You put anything braised or poached within a few feet of them at the dinner table and children tend to self destruct rather than ingest vitamins. Mom does the best she can, they are willing to acknowledge, but with the advent of the Internet, there must be some recipes even Mom could make edible. Isn’t it wonderful how discerning our children are about culinary delights at an early age?

My search on the Internet provided me with the following potential taste treats:
Deep-fried, pancake batter covered Oreo cookies. See? I was keeping in mind the fried aspect of the basic food list!

A combination of sour cream, avocado and creamed Spam comprises this recipe. According to this recipe, you layer the ingredients, freeze them and then scoop them into a cone and sprinkle with bacon bits. Would I lie to you?
Then there is a bean fudge. The binding ingredient is refried beans combined with chocolate to form ‘fudge’!

Keeping in the snack category, I discovered a wonderful liver cookie recipe. The only thing the recipe didn’t cover was why anyone would make them.
If you want to inspire a gourmet reaction, the deep-fried Span with the raspberry sauce, is sure to be a winner. Can I ever go back to the mundane baked chicken?

And don’t forget the secret ingredient in the ‘sure to please’ chocolate cake recipe. Now I have a use for leftover sauerkraut!

Can you believe it, however? After doing all this research, my children were still not happy. Not one of my new recipes struck a happy note with them. It is curious that now when I serve the usual pot roast or salad, they seem to eat more readily than when I offer scooping them up a big cone of frozen Spam and avocado instead. Go figure!

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