Fashion Myths of Summer
Barbara M. Barthelette
1. Only about a tenth of a percent of the population can go around with a bare midriff without looking fat . . . I have yet to see that person.
2. Tank tops may be considered ‘cool’ but exposed and dingy underwear straps are not.
3. Sleeveless exposes arm pits, an unattractive but necessary part of our anatomy. Clothing should leave some mystery in life!
4. Shorts cut your view of the leg off right at the fattest part of your leg . . .making even a thin thigh take on the illusion of ‘greatness’!
5. You don’t look elegant trying to sit in a short skirt without exposing your underwear – you look like you are trying to sit in a short skirt without exposing your underwear!
6. Would you object to being forced to stroll along the beach in your under wear? Why, then, would you voluntarily do so in a swimsuit with even less fabric?
7. If you pen your boy friend’s telephone number on your wrist, it will be washed off long before you break up. If you tattoo his name on your rump, you will spend your life after break up doing a lot of sitting.
8. Tight clothing never makes you look thin. Think overstuffed sausage here!
9. Skin-tight jeans show off every figure flaw – reread number one above.
10. If people can guess whether you are wearing underwear or not, you are either not wearing enough or you need less flimsy clothing.
11. Chewing gum is not a fashion statement. In Germany, it is called kau gummi (pronounced cow gummy) which seems to fit so draw your own conclusions when your jaws start snapping.
12. If you attract someone because of what you expose, what happens when your personality surfaces?